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Thursday, January 18, 2018

Her Success is Not My Failure: 5 Tips for Overcoming the Comparison Game

comparison struggle, prayers for comparison, feeling unworthy, tips for struggling with comparison Repeat after me.
Her success is NOT my failure. 

Earlier this month I was asked to speak at quarterly event held by my company.  Over the past 5 years I've been building a virtual business in pockets of time, between naptime, and into the wee hours in the evening.  I've spent countless hours reading personal development books, and attended a number of seminars including Tony Robbins and Dave Ramsey.

So the day before I was supposed to speak, I called my friend and gracefully attempted to back out. I was feeling less than worthy.

Has that ever happened to you?  Have you ever looked at your personal journey- whether in business or weight loss or parenting, and thought,"I am doing awesome.  I've totally got this."

Until you see someone else doing it, well better. 
or faster...

Perhaps it's a good time to go back and explain, why I almost backed out of speaking that day.  And I think that it's important to note too that as somone who's spent a lot of time on social media- social perception isn't always social reality.

The morning before I was set to speak, I got a private inquiry in response to an IG story I shared about the business success of a close friend.

She asked, "Katy, can you give me some tips on how you stay friends with someone so successful?  It doesn't seem to bother you. I find it hard to be friends with people in the business who are really good at what they do."

It was a hard read.  It was one of those that kinda skew the lines of social perception and reality. It was one that can really quickly send you into the downward spiral of, "I am unworthy" pretty quickly.

Surrounding yourself with successful people is not always easy. Consciously choosing not to compare is a skill.  Acknowledging the wins of others while you feel like you are in a period of waiting, takes humility.  Collecting joy instead of jealousy takes practice and a whole lot of grace. 

It's human nature to look at the lives of others and believe we want the same or that we deserve the same.  But we are not created the same, and neither are our callings.

I've found in my own experience comparison makes contentment a million times harder.  And through a lot of grace, prayer, and conversations with Big G, I am finding myself gracefully content far more often than burdened by comparsion.

Here are a few Conscious Contentment Practices I have applied in my own life.

1. Change Your Metrics: You metrics can not measure up to someone else's growth plan.  The truth is, if we are busy comparing ourselves to someone else's success, we are maximizing their success while diminishing our own.  It stalls our progress and confuses our own calling.   And Big G is all about clarity, not confusion.

Think about it. Have you ever found yourself window shopping, looking at all of the displays and confusing yourself over what you actually really like?  You try everything on, but nothing seems to fit right.  It looks awesome on display, but not so much on you.

When we see someone else's success, let's remind ourselves that it is uniquely designed for her.  Her definition of success wouldn't be worn well on you.

He's got something designed just for you, too. Are you willing to continue working for that and be open to His calling for you? Are you willing to acknoledge her success with diminishing your own?

Admire her story because it was created from His glory. 

2. Journal Your Joy: Gratitude changed everything.  Taking time in the morning or before bed to review your blessings remind us all that we have success.  Our blessings count as our success too you know.

3. Define Your Own Success:
Don't be so busy looking at her success, that you forget about your own pursuit. So many people claim that they want to be successful, but very few people actually define what that looks like.  About a week ago, I shared a story about successfully missing a company title.  I called this process, "gracefully flopping forward." 

Success to me isn't burn out,  hustling or working an incredible amount of hours.   It's not about the cars or the house or the trips. 

For me, personally, I've found success to be peace.  I've found success to be undistracted attention with my children. I've found success to be making an impact on others with the words that God gives me to write or to speak.   It's the confidence I have to share my story, unapologetically.  It's leaving a legacy with my kids. It's eating healthy but acknowledging that life is short and I will eat the cake. 

My definition doesn't fit most, because it's uniquely designed for me.

Sweet friend, sit and ask yourself how you define success?  What matters most to you? Be OK with that. No. Be excited about that.   You owe no one an explanation for the calling He's put on your heart.  That's between the two of you. 

But can I make a small recommendation? Although it's a calling between you and Big G, share it.  Ask someone to remind you that you matter, and to keep working towards that calling. We need people in our lives to keep us focused on the things that matter most to us.

Success is a solo gig. 
No one can define what it looks like for you.

4. Learn from her Story: I think about the timeliness of my relationships.  I think about the people who played a role for a season. I think about situations where I could have given more, or done more, but I find myself thinking about the purpose they play in my life.  I don't believe that successful friends are in my life because of coincidence,  I think Big G says, "Katy you have an opportunity to grow. Be open to that. Learn and make peace with the calling I am giving you. Honor your pace. Be still. Be patient.  You will know." 

Who are the people He's placed in your life? Do you allow their story to be inspiration for your growth strategy? Do you have a perception that isn't available to others?  Do you see the sacrifices behind the story?  Are those behind the scenes perspectives shifting your own definition of success? 

Note to self:  You do you pretty damn well. Keep that shiz up. 

5. Pray for her Success: I started doing this about a year ago after reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.  As Joyce puts it, "This [jealousy] is a common trait of the insecure. If we are not secure concerning our own worth and value as a unique individual, we will naturally find ourselves competing with anoyone who appears to be successful and doing well."

When you elevate her success you eliviate your need to compare. 

I put this prayer in my bible and when I feel that pull to be jealous or resentful, I turn to it to remind myself that her success is not my failure and that our callings are not equal, and that's what makes us uniquely qualified.

Prayer to Overcome Jealousy 

You are worthy of great things.
I am rooting for you.

"Don't settle for the crumbs of comparison when God invited you to sit at His table." -Lisa Bevere 

*At full disclosure, I love Jesus, but I do cuss a little. Hope that's cool. 

Monday, January 15, 2018

6 Books Every Social Media Storyteller MUST Reader

I don't know if you're like me, but lately I've found myself less and less drawn to facebook and instagram because I feel, well, like I am being sold to. Does that drive you crazy too?  It's almost like the online version of the perfume lady chasing you down to give you a spritz of the "freshest scent." 

best reads for social media marketing, top books for social media training, storybranding

Now don't get me wrong, I've built a business using these platforms over the past 5 years, but when I started using social media it was a different ballgame.  I started at a time when facebook was still showing everyone in the feed and the concept of social media marketing was still in it's infancy.  People were intrigued.  People were curious without being guarded.

As my business has grown so has the way I've approached marketing.  Where I used to throw out a link, cross my fingers and hope for a sale, my business has become more of a  share my story and guide people to tell theirs.

Eventually I get to the link.
But before I ever give the link, I give them the story, I build trust, and then I invite to the opportunity.

Unlike the perfume lady who is spritzing anyone who breezes past, savy social storytellers know that building trust means that they don't talk to everyone who comes by, but the select few who connect to their story.

Social media marketing works.
But perhaps a different way to approach it is to tell your story to a specific audience that NEEDS to hear it.

I wanted to share 6 books that greatly impacted the way I approached my social media marketing.  Hope these resources help you as well!

Your story matters.
You matter.
Happy sharing!


Building A Storybrand, Donald Miller 
This book is EVERYTHING!  Little shifts in your words can change the entire message of your brand! Donald Miller walks readers through the simple marketing strategy of becoming the guide of a story not the hero!  He explains how you can clarify your message to increase audience engagement and conversion into happy clients.  He also has an amazing podcast worth checking out.

Everybody Writes, Anna Handley
Need ideas for content?  Feeling stuck in your own work.  Anna Handley speaks right to the heart of any writer on how to improve your content. Whether you are on instagram, wordpress, faebook or twitter, you can improve your writing with these simple to apply tips.  Handley breaks each chapter into small, easy to apply ideas that will help you communicate your ideas effectively. It's a great tool for editing!

The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown 
It's all about authenticity and vulnerability. Capturing an audience who connects with your messages starts with being unapologetic about your beliefs.  In Brown's book, readers are given the skills to let go of the need for perfection and latch on to the peace that comes with acknowledging who we really are.  I read this book as I found myself transitioning from cancer fighter to cancer survivor and shifting that role on social media.  It's a powerful read, and Brene Brown does an amazing job of simplifying the message with her own experiences.

Contagious, Johah Berger 
I first heard of Jonah Berger when I was listening to a podcast.  I was immediately hooked by the simplicity of his message: creating contagious content. This is a great tool for learning more about WHY consumers purchase and what causes them to act.This book I actually read in spurts.  I found myself taking a lot of notes, and then slowly implementing the skills to my own work.

Content Inc., Joe Pulizzi
Pulizzi walks readers through 6 tactile skills for cracking the code when it comes to content. He helps readers walk through their sweet spot of what they love to do and what they know how to do.  He helps you take curious visitors to your site and turn them into long term customers.

best reads for social media marketing, top books for social media training, storybranding No matter what resource you use, the most important step in the process is to help your audience feel like they matter.  When your audience sees your story as a source of hope, you have the opportunity to deliver on your (now clarified) message.

Other personal development suggestions here!

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

3 Ways to Celebrate Your Weight Loss and {FREE} Small Win Downloadable

weightloss wins, celebrate small wins, weight loss goal sheet, celebrate ideas for weight loss, 2B Mindset, elimination experience, matter movement

It's a new year and like us, perhaps you are leaning into that weight loss resolution. This is the year YOU lose the weight. This is the year YOU give up the diet and actually enjoy the veggies.  This is the year YOU commit to working out 6 days a week, and then... 

February hits. 

Sound Familiar?

It's so easy to start the year with grand expectations of what we can achieve, but often life gets in the way, and our goals take a backseat to our to-do list. Does that sound like you?

I am a huge fan of what I call 6 am selfish. It's the simple concept where I start the day as follows:

Word in.
Work out
Work list.

In that order.

I teach my challengers that no matter what time your "6 am selfish" is, it's critical to make time for ourselves (daily), so that we can give more freely to others.
I start my morning with my bible and my devotional and then move into my workout before the busyness of the day. It's changed my life.

Our health comes first because if we don't have our health, what do we really have? 
We make time to pray because we are grateful.
We make time to sweat because we are able.

weightloss wins, celebrate small wins, weight loss goal sheet, celebrate ideas for weight loss, 2B Mindset, elimination experience, matter movement

Truthfully we make so much time for others that if we sacrifice taking time for ourselves that's when we start to forget who we really are.

Recently I wrote a blog post about self-care, and I was blown away by the feedback I received.  So many women wrote to me about their struggles with taking care of themselves.  So many women told me about the guilt they experience when wanting to do something for themselves even if it's only a 30 minute bubble bath.  SO many women forget how much they matter.  You are worthy of taking care of you, my friend!

As I get ready to roll out my new Elimination Experience in just two weeks, I wanted to address something that I think could shift the way we look at the weight loss experience.

It's simple really, if we want to celebrate the big victories of weight loss, we must acknowledge first the small wins.

In the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy, he writes "The accomplishment of any goal is the progressive accumulation, the compound effect, or small steps taken over time."

The small wins are what add up to the large victories, but the small wins go so often overlooked. Below are my top three tips to help you address the small wins in your weight loss! Here are my three tips for celebrating small!

1.  Celebrate the non-scale victories:  Repeate after me.  My weight does NOT determine my worth.  When we step on the scale it's either going to completely motivate us or completely deter us.  There is no real in between.  Recently I was having a conversation with a challenger who was frustrated with her weight gain in our elimination experience.  So we broke it down, and we discovered that although she'd gained a whooping 2 pounds, she also lost inches and she gained energy. She wasn't late night snacking and her jeans were fitting better!  If we are only looking at the scale as our measure of success, we aren't seeing the BIG picture.  Break up with scale my friend!

2.  Create a celebratory plan: Just like Darren Hardy said, we have to acknowledge the small wins along the way to stay motivated.  Small wins can be weight loss, sticking to the nutritional plan, completing all your workouts for the week.  Whatever is a challenge for you that you can celebrate is absolutely worth it!  Check out my free downloadable to celebrate your progress!

3. Find a bigger reason to sweat: Let's face it, we aren't always motivated to workout.  Sometimes the simple power of sweating for someone who can't is enough to get my butt off the couch and start to sweat.  When you look at is a blessing instead of a burden, your motivation shifts.

Perspective is everything. 

weightloss wins, celebrate small wins, weight loss goal sheet, celebrate ideas for weight loss, 2B Mindset, elimination experience, matter movement
Click to Download

I've attached a downloadable small win celebrator plan. Print it out and use it to check off the small wins and create your celebratory plan for those wins!



If I can help you achieve your health and fitness goals, ask me about The Elimination Experience!
Fill out the application here!

Fill out my online form.

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

7 Essential Self Care Tips and My Free Guide

In the winter of 2016, I found myself on the bathroom floor in a mess of piled laundry and tears.  I hit my breaking point with my business, with my to do list, with my kids, my new role as cancer survivor and I felt like I had nothing left in me to give. I was feeling completely unworthy and unqualified to help other women as a coach when I felt like I couldn't even take care of myself. I sat there, uncertain about the year ahead, my passion and my purpose, crying over a pile of laundry that clearly wasn't folding itself.  

Gratitude, self care, self love, worthy, elimination diet, elimination experience
It's time to take care of you.

I was lost.
I was tired.
Do you know that feeling?

As hard as it is to admit, I was giving everyone the best of me until I just had nothing left.
I was empty, drained.
And my health was taking a major toll.
I gained weight.  I feel into a depression.
And my family was getting what was left of me.

Someone once told me that our energy is like a gas tank.  Everyday we get in the car, and we drive-our do lists, responsibilities and commitments.
We use our gas, our energy.

We have our worries.
We have our schedule.
We have our goals.

Everything we do takes our energy.  Everything.
So we must make a choice about who and what we willingly give our energy.

In 2016, I had to stop.
I had to stop taking care of everyone else before I was willing to take care of myself.
I had to stop trying to impress everyone else around me and start focusing on impressing HIM.
I had to stop seeking perfectionism and start focusing on forward failing progress.

I had to accept the fact that I was created to do great things, not all things. 

As I start a new year, I've found myself having conversations with so many women who are where I once was- dealing with the same drain that I too experienced- women struggling with emotional eating, friends in troubled marriages, business owners who can't quit the comparison game or are falling short of their goals, moms who are too tired to remember  their coffee is in the microwave, friends focusing on life after loss,  fellow fighters coming to terms with a diagnosis, and those who just feel...

like they aren't enough.

Gratitude, self care, self love, worthy, elimination diet, elimination experience
Personal Development is Part of Self Care!

I am learning that so much of our struggle is because we are tired. Our giving tanks are empty.

Here I was thinking, Katy you can take on the world. You can pile it on. You can do one more thing.
When in actuality... who am I to think I can do it all?  I mean didn't God intentionally create a day of rest?

How can we run if we cannot rest?

Sweet friend, I know first hand that no one can pour from an empty cup.

You are ENOUGH.
You do ENOUGH.
and YOU MATTER enough to take care of yourself.

Here are my 7 tips for taking care of yourself in the new year and downloadable worksheet. 


Sleep: Strive for 7 hours of sleep a night and limit the television you watch beforehand.

Eat Well:  Eat well not as a punishment but as a gift. Nourish your body with foods rich in vitamins and nutrients.  Once you get in the habit of feeding yourself healthy foods, you body will start to crave them.

Word In:  I start my morning with my devotional and my prayers.  It helps me focus on the day ahead, keeping God at my center.

Work Out: Working out is about clarity.  Working out is about gaining confidence, energy and strength.  30 minutes of intense cardio, weight lifting, or yoga. Take a class. Join a buddy. Push play at home.  Don't overthink it.  Just start.

Pause: There is immense power in the pause.  Take time to breathe, to refocus, and give yourself some grace.  Remember you can't do ALL the things.  Do your best and forget the rest.

Seek help: Go to therapy. Hire a cleaning lady. Read personal devleopment books. Listen to a podcast. Ask advice from your bestie.  Talk to your pastor.  Ask for help. Don't go at this whole life thing alone.

Consciously Collect Joy: Everyday start with gratitude, and throughout the day consciously look for the blessings. When you focus on it, it becomes more present.

I created a downloadable for you my friend to fill out weekly.
Watch the video for tips on filling out your weekly self care routine.

Gratitude, self care, self love, worthy, elimination diet, elimination experience

Would you like to know more about how I coach women through the Elimiation Experience?  Learn more here.

Fill out my online form.
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