On the way to the bus stop yesterday morning, Nick was running ahead, and I trying to make sure that I had put everything in his book bag. Throwing the last minute snackbar and water bottle into the bag and as he bolted out the door, I was rushing yet again. Even my hair was getting by on day three of dry shampoo, my clothes were wrinkled from sitting in the basket too long, and makeup was half applied.
In my rush, I caught up to at a fellow mom and we started talking about the demands of schedules. She mentioned that she woke up in the middle of the night running through her to do list.
I immediately felt this sigh of relief, this oh gosh, it’s not just me. I am not the only one who can’t check off the boxes fast enough. I’m not the only one who can’t catch up with the emails and the voicemails and the schedule. I am not the only throwing together the peanut butter and jelly minutes before the bus arrives. I am not the only one collapsing into bed at night and waking myself up with the list of tasks I didn’t complete.
Are you feeling me on this? Can you relate?
I am not sure if it’s the transtion back to school..
I am not sure if it’s the change in the seasons…
I am not sure if it’s just feeling another year older…
But there is something about the fall that lengthens my to do list and shorten my moments of patience. There’s more to do and less time to just “be.”
I hate that. And maybe all of it is because I can’t stop piling it up in the junk drawer.
Does that even make sense? I am sure you have one; don’t we all? Ya know the drawer you keep shut at all times. The appearance that it’s all clean in the kitchen. I’ve come to believe the drawer tells story of “I’ll get to that later.” The drawer that looks so innocent on the outside, but is a jumbled mess when it’s open.
Have you ever stopped to really think about that drawer?
Why does that drawer even exsist?
Furthermore, why in the world can’t we bring ourselves to de-clutter?
Instead we put more and more junk in there. We pile it on.
And then we close it; we hide all the junk.
We make it appear that we can take on more. The kitchen is clean.
But the truth is we pile up the junk.
It’s kinda like our schedules isn’t it? We so quickly say, yes because we fear saying no. We quickly add on more to our schedule because we think we must. We just pile it all on. Ya know, I think sometimes, as a mom, my mind works like my junk drawer. I store all of the information. I hold onto all the things (important and unimportant). I pile on one more thing to my to do list, until the drawer no longer shuts and as much as I try to force it. Eventually, I have to confront it and figure out what’s really worth keeping. I try to tuck it all away so I can come back to it later.
But there will come a day when the drawer won’t close, and we can no longer pile it all in there.
Sweet friend, sometimes we need to dump out the drawer, and decide what matters and what just doesn’t.
Maybe it’s time compartmentailize each item: “keep pile,” “toss pile,” “does it really matter right now pile,” and “it’s ok to make this not a priority pile.”
After all the sorting through the pencils and chargers and flashcards, all the notepads, electronics, stickers, and take out pamphlets, and unrecognizable gadgets, you take a breath.
After looking at our own junk, our own priorities and our own schedules and pile we feel we must do, we must say, some things just aren’t that important. And then, we can maybe start to really breathe again.
Friend, stop stuffing more into a drawer that’s already full.
Let go of what doesn’t matter, what doesn’t bring you joy, and what simply isn’t a priority.
Hold tight and keep close the things that do.
If you are feeling like the kitchen junk drawer, pour it all out. Sort through the stuff, discard what doesn’t really matter, and tuck away the things that matter most.