|The man who saved my life!|
Here it is. A blank canvas. I am looking for words. Any words. The right words. Some type of words to express the emotions I’ve felt the last few days.
I still cannot think of what to write. That must seem somewhat bizarre. If you read my last post, I talked a lot about the anxiety of breaking up with chemo. I mentioned the worries I have living a life free of cancer. However, I really didn’t mention the process of moving forward.
I have had a lot of trouble concentrating on the future when for the last seven months because I have been firmly rooted in getting through each day, each treatment, each scan. Planning for the future is a little, well, uncomfortable. And celebrating is something I am not quite ready to do.
Here’s what I do know:
|12 rounds of chemo and I still got it!|
- I received my last ABVD treatment on 08-18-14. I kept a lot of my hair. (Take that Rhonda.) Recovery from the treatment was difficult and the fatigue really hit hard-emotionally and physically.
- I will get bloodwork for the next two weeks to make sure there is no infection and that I am recovering from the effects of chemotherapy.
- I will wait a grueling 6 weeks for my next scan. The scan will reveal if radiation is necessary or if more chemotherapy will take place. My oncologist is completely confident in my, “progress.” And what I refer to as “horseshit,” he is pretty certain has saved my life.
- The next 5 years will consist of scans, visits, and close watch on all signs of cancer.
Here’s what I don’t know:
- Where I feel my career as a coach and teacher are leading me
- If that cancer crap just loves me so much that it’s gonna stick to me like glue
Here’s Where Faith Comes In:
I have found myself saying this over and over in my head especially as I have been asking for guidance as I transition into my role as survivor. Truly, I feel a pulling, an obligation, a calling- not sure which one but something in my heart is telling me I am on the right path, and even though I don’t know exactly what this means and where I am heading, I do know I have faith the size of a mustard seed. I certainly believe that I am destined to inspire others- one post, one blog, one comment, one person at a time. Nothing is impossible.
|What I Fight For|