I think somewhere along the way of motherhood, we learn how to just "wing it." Motherhood becomes more about getting by and one upping and less about the actual act mothering....
Out of sick days with a sick kid? Wing it.
Ovescheduled. Overbooked. Overwhelmed.
Figure it out.
It's easy to say, "I don't know how I am gonna do it, so I am just gonna wing it. "
Pile it on.
...What's one more, "Yes?"
...Besides, what would they think if I said, "No?"
But somewhere in the middle of winging it and baking 6 dozen gluten free, peanut free, dairy free cupcakes, it hits you.
Like a ton of bricks.
The day comes when you realize you just don't want to wing it.
Something has got to give.
This afternoon I had the opportunity to spend time with my family. This is something I've been doing a lot more of since leaving a Tony Robbins event in San Jose last month. I think the event made me realize how much I was ignoring my key priorities. My priorities were out of whack.
Way out of whack.
Today, we spent the afternoon making homemach gnocchis for Christmas day. I might also add that the entire weekend was spent sleeping in, spending time with my husband, and dare I admit that I even had a little "me time" facial, and only occassionally did I pick up the phone to check my status.
As a business owner who's livelyhood depends on check ins, status updates, goals, benchmarks, and raising the bar, higher and higher...
I started to see my priorities sink...
lower, and lower...
My schedule was booked. My alerts were always dinging. My phone was never really off. And I must admit even when I slept, my brain was still working. I never stopped. I pushed. I pushed, and I pushed. Rest was for the weak.
Until I started to feel weak.
Friends ,somewhere between raising my bar and living up to someone else's expectations, and another big push, I started to feel tired. And not the kinda tired you feel when you stay up an extra hour or two. The type of exhaustion that hits every bone in your body. It's the type of exhaustion where every muscle including your mind has nothing left.
There is no room to give.
Your cup is empty.
I got to that point. And in fact, I resided at that point for many months. I stayed there attempting to pour anything I possibly had left to others. I was giving without receiving gratitude. My day consisted of going through the motions. There was no authentic joy. I remember pasted smiles and racing thoughts... I have to work... I have to do more. I am not enough...
It wasn't until I realized that I was doing no one any favors when I wasn't taking care of myself. I wasn't myself. And I desperately started to crave finding myself. I had to start to believe that I was enough....
So I stopped winging it.
Can we all agree that NO ONE has super powers?
Can we all agree that an overwhelmed scheduled doesn't lead to feeling accomplished, it leads to stress?
Can we all agree that winging it is a way of convincing ourselves that "overwhelmed" is the way it's supposed to be?
So if we aren't going to wing it, what do we do?
Here's what I am learning to do. You take a deep breath. Snuggle your kids. Drink a cup of decadent REAL creamy, hot cocoa. You laugh with your spouse. You sing in the shower. You talk to your kids about their day. You call your mom. You scroll through your camera instead of the newsfeed.
And you talk to Big G. (That's my loving term for God. We're tight like that. In fact if He had a nickname for me... it would likely be, "Pain in the Ass...").
Because, my friend, you can really only hear him when you're quiet.
And it's in those quiet moments...
Those quiet moments where you reveal your baggage to Him, that you will likely hear him tell you to stop winging it....
Instead he'd tell you this...
Mustard Seed It.
Have a little bit if faith. That's what move mountains.
Leave winging it to the birds.
Tidings of Comfort and Joy this Season,