It's funny- the things you don't think anyone will notice until you realize they do, and then you feel this obligation to explain yourself.
I guess that's kinda always how I've been. I've been the girl who ALWAYS explains her actions. I try to justify myself and seek to be understood.
And maybe even in this blog, my goal is to explain myself, but I think more than that... I am writing this because it helps me. Writing, sharing, and explaining is always and will always be my way of dealing with stress, with anxiety, and with fear.
For the past two years, I've dealt with these emotions by giving- time, energy, and hope. Recently, I started to step back and really focus on what I'd been through. I started to actually deal with the emotion of it all, and that scared me. And I started to re-evaluate what I really want.
I remember reading a book not too long ago and feeling the words, "if you become obsessed with you idea... you will become equally addicted to the idea of making it work. You can not be successful without obsession."
It didn't sit right.
This idea of obsession.
I didn't want to be obsessed.
Obsession with an idea makes me forget what matters most.
I've seen what obsession does. And let's be honest... in most cases.. obsession doesn't end well.
I remember putting the book down that day. I walked downstairs. And I simply talked to my son. I made a choice- I am not the kind of person who will become obsessed with a job.
So I stepped back.
I shifted my work hours. I refocused on my goals. I got serious with what I value most. And I gave up trying to please others. (I kept kinda shitting the bed on this anyway.) It's been a process. It's been a failing forward kinda thing. There's been some gut checks. There's been some fear. But there's been some incredible rewards too.
In the process of stepping back I learned 5 clear things...
1. Stepping backward has given me the new perspective I need to move forward.
2. Faith is my bridge between where I am now and where God is taking me.
3. You can't do a good job if your job is the only thing you do.
4. You have to inhale and laugh.
5. Your actions should always be in line with your priorities.
You guys, I am passionate about providing hope. My passion will drive me. It will fuel me. But it will not overtake me.
1. First and foremost, GOD, my kids, my family, and my marriage. Nothing comes before this. Nothing.
2. Providing hope.
3. Working with my challengers and coaches. I commit to supporting my current coaches and challengers. I commit to helping ten new challengers and two new coaches monthly change their lives in the same way mine was changed.
4. My new business venture...
5. Joy. Gratitude. Laughter.
If my actions aren't in line with these priorities- it's just not a priority. Simple. I want to enjoy the present. It the ultimate gift and the most forgotten. I want to laugh, love and wing it.
So my advice to you?
Take a step back. Inhale. Remember that you are never given anything in this world that you can't handle. You see things a lot more clearly when you step back and soak in the view.
Keep yourself in check. Align your actions to your priorities and set those goals.
If you forget why you started, put down the work and hang out with your WHY.
The present is the gift. Don't sacrifice it.
And Nick's waiting to go to the pool.